Monday, December 7, 2009

anxiety #242 - how do you eat a lobster?

I should probably start by letting you know that I've never actually eaten part of a lobster, let alone a whole one, and it's not because I'm too gripped by fear to give it a go. I've just never had the opportunity. It does, however, seem an incredibly daunting meal.

Firstly, I'm hesitant about any food that is so messy to eat, grown adults need to wear bibs. Is it really such a slippery hazard? If I order a whole lobster, will I really be given a bib? I'm generally a pretty neat eater, not one of those people who flick spaghetti sauce on their shirt or drip melty icecream from a cone. Surely I don't need to wear a bib... do I?

The tomalley (the dirty lobster liver) makes me a little nervous, because of the possibility that it could be contaminated with mercury. I understand, however, that despite the fact some consider it a delicacy, I can just avoid it. Unless it's in disguise, there's not too much drama there.

Most of all I'd have trouble shaking the constant nagging feeling that I'd missed a bit. Nature made lobsters so their delicious goodness would be tricky to get at, and there are lots of little trapped bits that a beginner could overlook. After all the build up to actually eating a lobster, did I end up getting into all the legs? What about the little bits in the tail flippers? It would be just too sad to leave the table thinking maybe I'd left my first ever lobster half eaten. Why even try to eat a lobster if I'm going to leave any behind? Is is possible to employ some kind of lobster-eating coach?

So many unanswered questions. So much uncertainty. If you are also worried about eating lobster, help is available at this informative website...

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